7/30/2010
By: C. Kent, aka (Superman)


The day started out having all the earmarks of a great day for a bike ride. Not too hot and I pre-ran the route the day before to check for newly applied gravel. I was looking forward to trying out my new road shoes and pedals and Fridays are usually pretty casual rides. Only with 20/20 hindsight can I see the day was set up to be a strange one.

My first clue should have been when I arrived at the parking lot to see Ocelot’s bike upside down with the back wheel off. Standing next to Ocelot was Duramax our official tire changing expert. I wasn’t too panicked however because the tire was flat before Ocelot drove to the parking lot where she needed Duramax to bring her a new tube. I watched as they replaced the tube and Ocelot pumped up the tire.


Next we stood around and waited to see if anyone was going to join us before we realized all of us had arrived rather early and it wasn’t even close to the time for us to leave. Just then Bandit arrived and he was followed by Gambler. Still it looked like it would be a small group. However by 8 am we had 13 riders and a definite A and B group. The plan was to ride together to Winchester and Domenigoni and then the A group would take off for the Marina while the B group followed and headed for State Street and Cactus Valley. We took off with high hopes that the plan would work. The first snag happened in the first ½ mile. Troy got our second flat of the day.
This first delay on the corner of Gilmore and Acacia didn’t cause much consternation with the group because Troy is almost a pit crew at tire changing all by himself. Plus it allowed Troy’s friend Jeff to join us seeing as he arrived just after we left Burger king. We were soon back on our way and the plan was still intact. A quick left on Kirby and a left into the housing track and the sound came forward once again, “FLAT” and as I looked back Jeff had not only flatted he had punched a hole in the tire. I figured he was finished for the day but a Kevlar boot was applied and another tire was being changed.
Because the tire had to be booted as well as the tube changed this was more like a rest stop that a repair stop so everyone gust sort of milled around and tried to get their visiting done in small groups, some in the shade and some in the sun. I did manage to go from group to group to explain the “plan” once again. We laughed and talked all the way to Johnston and over to Sanderson before making the turn towards the airport and finally over to Stetson.
At last it seemed that we were on our way and once we got passed the airport we were moving at a pretty good clip down Stetson towards Warren road. Surgeon and I talked a bit as we headed passed Warren and closed in on California and at this point the group was all together. We were doing fine on California and I managed to be in the lead group as we turned on Stowe and got ready for the run to Winchester. I was just setting into a good pace when from the back I hear. “FLAT”! I can’t believe my ears but I look back and there is Gambler, off his bike and taking the wheel off.
It took a while with Gambler’s deep rims and some of the riders were getting a bit antsy about the time. Still Gambler and the crew got the tire fixed and we got ready to get back on the road. Hit Man informed me that he would have to take off because he had an appointment later on so as we were finishing he took off on Stowe and Winchester. Once we did get going again we met up with Bandit and Surgeon waiting at the corner of Winchester and Stowe so we simply made the turn and Bandit pulled us to Domenigoni. But before we got there we passed Hit Man putting his pump back on his frame because he too had a flat. I stayed with the A group but waited at Domenigoni and Winchester for the B group to catch up. They had stopped for Hit Man and were a few seconds behind.

The B group hit its stride on Domenigoni and Hit man keep us rolling along about 20 MPH all the way to Warren Road. I was hanging on his back wheel most of the way as we looked to be gaining on some of the last riders in the A group. At the rate we were gaining it looked like we might catch the group before the entrance to the Water Park and Marina. After the little bridge over the dry river crossing we could see that there was a group just passing Warren just as we were getting to the stop light. We paused at the light and it changed but as we came around the slight bend in the road much to our surprise Gambler was off his bike once more fixing another flat.


I decided to wait with Gambler, Cossack, and Bounty Hunter while Ocelot, Phoenix, Hit man and Duramax headed for State Street and the rest of A group. I had told the whole group that we would meet up at the end of Cactus Valley so I wasn’t too worried about all the riders in front of me. All I was worried about was hanging on till we got to State Street. We caught Troy and Bandit coming back from the Marina and Cossack left us at that point. What I didn’t know was that Ocelot had left as well. Troy and Bandit pulled like a freight train all the way to the turn heading for Cactus valley and as we came even with the golf course I could just make out the small images of a group of riders ahead of us. That image simply spurred Bandit, Gambler and Troy along. I followed as best I could looking back to see in Bounty Hunter was behind me. At the end of Cactus Valley we were a much smaller group than when we started.

Bounty Hunter, Troy, Duramax, Bandit, Phoenix, Jim, Oso Rojo, Gambler and I were all that was left. Jeff left before his tire went flat again and like I said Cossack left at State Street. Ocelot went home. We saw Hit Man heading back as we got close to sage. Surgeon was gone and I wasn’t real sure when he left because he was so far ahead of me. So that left 9 out of 14 to continue on east to Carl’s. We did have two firsts and a last ride however as this would be the last ride for Phoenix because she has to go back to work and the first time Oso Rojo made it all the way to the end of the Cactus Valley ride.

I took off with a pack that included Troy, Bandit, Gambler and Bounty Hunter and stayed with them till we got back to Domenigoni and State. I got left at the light at State and Gambler and Bounty Hunter headed for home. Oso Rojo left as well and as we got to Columbia Bandit and Troy headed for home. I stopped at Thornton and Columbia and waited for the rest of the group so we could finish the ride to Carl’s together. We had some quick coffee and Duramax, Jim, Phoenix and I rode back to Burger King together.

It was a long day but I had a great time and got in 42 miles at just over 16 MPH. I will miss Phoenix and hope we can put together a Saturday ride she can attend soon. Still Centaur should be with us now and then so we will know how she is doing. Jim will be joining us more often and we should see him next Wednesday. However if there was one outstanding rider for today it had to be Gambler. He had two flats and still pushed on to Cactus Valley and Back to Hemet.


Just in case any of you are interested I will post a description of the no flat chant and dance just so people will not have to suffer the fate of my good friend Gambler.

You need one cup of pure water and a spoon. If you don’t have pure water boiled tap water will work.

1. You go out before the ride and face the wind. If there is no wind you face north.
2. You take the spoon and fill it with pure water and flip it in the direction you are facing.
3. The dance part is, Shuffle left, shuffle left, shuffle left, stop and squat.
4. The chant part at the same time as the dance is. Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, no more flats!
5. You do this for all four directions.
6. If you get a flat you did something wrong.
From the scientific journal of Professor Asop F Ables.